


Crazy Bets

by hereforthephilindafics



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Drinking, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Kink Negotiation, Large Cock, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Size Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:47:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24303901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hereforthephilindafics/pseuds/hereforthephilindafics
Summary: It started as a stupid bet about how long they could make the new recruits believe Coulson and Hunter were dating. It had been Skye’s idea.
Relationships: Phil Coulson/Lance Hunter
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27
Collections: AOS Season 7 Countdown





	Crazy Bets

**Author's Note:**

> For aosficnet2's Season 7 Countdown Challenge 
> 
> Day 2  
> Season 2, any brotp, fake dating, The Playground.

It started as a stupid bet about how long they could make the new recruits believe Coulson and Hunter were dating. It had been Skye’s idea. She thought it would be hilarious to see the newer agents trying to figure out if fraternization, especially with the Director, was allowed.

Coulson knew she was shocked when he went along with it. He had no plan to tell Skye about his bisexuality, mainly because he would never hear the end of it with the Captain America jokes. But he was not one to shrink back from a good prank. May had just shook her head and muttered something in Chinese. This was too crazy even for her. The rest of the Team was in on it.

Hunter had, surprisingly, been on board. Either he was _that_ secure in his sexuality, or Coulson had missed something. Or maybe the guy was just hammered all the time and did not care.

Whatever the reason, they had been officially “dating” for a week now. Coulson walked down one of the hallways of the Playground smirking.

They started light; little gazes and winks when they were surrounded by the new recruits. Hunter pretending to watch lovingly as Coulson talked about rules and expectations in the hangar. He came down at the end of the speech and touched Coulson’s arm, holding onto his bicep for far too long as he gave the Director some worthless update.

Coulson heard the rustle of whispers spread through the group as he and Hunter walked away, hand in hand. They could not stop laughing for half an hour in his office afterwards.

It had been a couple of grueling, long days. Coulson had not had time to think about anything else but Hydra and its threats. He was looking forward to a scalding shower and more than three hours of sleep.

The communal showers were noisier than he expected to find them at ten at night. Coulson sighed. May’s training session must have run over, or she purposefully tortured the poor recruits. Maybe that’s why they couldn’t get more people to join, word had spread how hard she went on new people.

Coulson would have headed to his personal small bathroom after his workout had he known. Communal showers never bothered him when he was a field agent, but he had been younger and in better shape. Plus, he didn’t have an ugly scar in the middle of his chest back then. Coulson knew no one would be stupid enough to openly stare at it, but he still tried to turn away from the others.

He almost broke the arm that wrapped around his torso.

“Play it cool, mate. We need to win this bet,” Hunter said, moving his palm up and down his belly.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Coulson asked.

“There’s two recruits going around saying we are messing with them. We didn’t sell it well enough.” Hunter’s lips traveled up and down his neck and right shoulder.

Coulson moaned, throwing his head back and leaning it against Hunter’s left shoulder. He enjoyed the feeling of the rough palm moving all over his torso. By the time Coulson realized he was hard it was too late.

Hunter moved even closer. “Oh, you’re good at this. Got a bonner on command. Nice.”

Coulson chuckled. “Yeah...They teach you a lot at the Academy.”

“Too bad I never went then.”

Hunter bit his shoulder and Coulson shuddered. He gasped when he felt something hard rub against the cleft of his ass for a moment. The showers had turned suddenly quiet.

“Nice! They all left. We are definitely getting that grand now.”

Coulson felt Hunter move away and shivered even though the scalding hot water was still pounding over his head. He placed his right hand against the tiles of the shower wall and took deep breaths.

“Coulson, you good, mate?”

He turned, shaking the water off his eyes. “Yeah, it’s been a long day. You said grand?”

“Yep. Skye got a lot more people in on it. But the blonde dude, what’s his face...”

“Agents Tiller.”

“Yeah, that one. He was going around saying this is all a joke since they’re recruits.”

Coulson smirked. “He’s smart.”

“But I’m better.” Hunter winked.

Coulson cleared this throat, trying to avoid Hunter’s groin. He was holding his cock like this was the most normal conversation he’d ever had. Coulson also tried very hard not to think about how Hunter’s cock was long and hard.

“I gotta go man. I have to kick Mack’s ass at a new round of Black Ops.”

“Right, cause’ we don’t have enough violence in our daily life,” Coulson said, eyes snapping back to Hunter’s face.

He rolled his eyes. “Goodnight, Grandpa.” He went toward the locker rooms, whistling.

Coulson groaned and turned the nozzle to the cold water.

It had been an hour since his shower adventure and Coulson was still hard. He thought he was all set after his icy-cold shower, but once he went back to his quarters and put away the work he had left, Coulson felt the tightness in his groin again. He tried distracting himself by reading but got stuck on one page for fifteen minutes. He tried putting himself to sleep but all he could see when he closed his eyes was Hunter, naked and dripping wet, holding his hard dick. Coulson sat up, groaning. The head of his cock was leaking. He didn’t want to be a pervert and just jerk off thinking about Hunter. Plus, he didn’t want to be alone. He wanted to feel another warm body next to him.

Coulson got up, put on a pair of sweats and a shirt. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey and two glasses on his way out and hoped it was late enough that everyone had gone to bed. There would be a whole different kind of talk if the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D was spotted wandering the halls late at night with an erection.

Hunter opened his bunk door after the third time Coulson banged on it, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. He grinned when he saw the booze.

“Couldn’t sleep, Director?”

“Let me in before someone sees and starts betting on other things.”

Hunter snorted but moved to the side. Coulson smelled his cologne as he brushed past the man. He felt warm suddenly.

“What brings you here then?” Hunter said, closing the door.

Coulson placed the glasses and bottle on the bedside table and turned. Hunter looked good even when disheveled. His hair stuck in a few different directions. He was wearing an old t-shirt and boxer briefs.

“Do I need to spell it out?”

“Aren’t you the same man who almost jumped out of his skin when I touched him in the shower?” Hunter asked, moving closer.

Coulson grinned. “You took me by surprise.”

Hunter snorted. “Oh, so what was it, my excellent belly rubbing technique made you switch teams?”

Coulson watched as he poured them each two fingers of the amber liquid and handed him one of the glasses. They drank at the same time. Hunter hissed as he swallowed.

Coulson had another drink. “What makes you think I wasn’t already on that team?”

“How much did you have to drink before you came here, mate?”

Coulson huffed. “If you’re not interested all you have to do is say so. It was wrong of me to show up at your bunk. I didn’t mean to pressure—

“Whoa! Wait, no!” Hunter rushed to get in front of him. “I didn’t mean ‘get the fuck out’, man. It’s just...Skye said you tend to have a pretty good rate of success with women, that’s all.”

Coulson rolled his eyes. He wrapped his right hand around Hunter’s neck. “I don’t tell Skye everything.”

Hunter smiled. “So, you’ve done this before?”

Coulson smirked.

“You’ve done this a lot before.”

It wasn’t a question. Coulson watched Hunter’s face as he put it all together. He moved closer and Coulson’s breath caught in his throat. Hunter nuzzled his neck.

“I like the scent of your body wash,” he said.

Coulson groaned, pulling him flush to his body. His other hand gripped Hunter’s ass as their lips met. It was slow and gentle at first. They took their time tasting the other, getting used to the feeling of another pair of lips.

Hunter hissed when Coulson bit his lower lip, sucking it into his mouth. His other hand traveled down to find the hardness he had felt against his ass in the shower. They were both panting when they broke apart.

“If I may say, Director…” Hunter looked him up and down. “Damn!”

Coulson chuckled. “This is not to pressure you in any way but in my rush to get here I didn’t think of bringing anything we might need.”

Hunter smirked. “I have lube and condoms.” He pointed at his dresser.

“Perfect.” Coulson tried not to grin as he poured them more to drink but Hunter shook his head.

“I’d like to remember every detail of tonight,” he said.

Coulson chuckled and finished both drinks. He moved the glasses and bottle to the top of Hunter’s dresser. He opened the first drawer and did in fact see a purple bottle of lube and a pack of condom. Size extra-large. Coulson smirked; he was in luck.

Hunter was naked when Coulson turned to face him. He threw the supplies on the bed and walked to his agent slowly. His toned chest was sprinkled with light hair and his cock was already standing at attention, long and slightly curved to the right.

“Eager, aren’t we?”

Hunter smirked and pumped his shaft, moaning. “You don’t have to…” He nodded towards Coulson’s shirt. “But I am interested in you losing those sweatpants.”

Coulson smirked, rubbing his right hand up his chest and gripping his neck. “Let’s see if you deserve it.”

“Oh, you’re that type?”

“Hhmmm?” Coulson was too focused on teasing Hunter’s nipples.

He hissed. “The daddy type...oh fuck...do as I say or else...”

Coulson chuckled, looking up and into Hunter’s eyes. “You don’t have to call me ‘daddy’, but I would very much appreciate it if you did as I said.”

Hunter shivered, moaning. Coulson moved closer and bent his head, kissing and licking his chest. He knelt slowly until he was only inches away from the throbbing shaft he had been fantasizing about all night. The tip dripped again and Coulson extended his tongue, lapping up the drops of pre-cum and teasing the slit.

“Ohhhh shit!” Hunter gripped his shoulders and almost double forward. “Give a man a warning next time.”

Coulson looked up at him, grinned, and licked his lips.

“If you’ll excuse me, I need to sit down before I fall.”

Hunter basically waddled to his bed, collapsing on the mattress, still gripping his hard cock. He was so long it bobbed in his fist. Coulson hummed and crawled to him, kneeling between his spread thighs.

“I thought daddies made you get on your knees,” Hunter said, rubbing his right hand through Coulson’s hair.

He took it off gently, kissed it, and placed it on his bicep. “You need to get out there a little more, Hunter.”

“Why don’t you teach me something new, then?”

Coulson pretend to sigh. “Hunter?”

“Yes, Sir?”

“Be quiet.”

Hunter saluted. Coulson rolled his eyes and decided to punish him a little bit. He looked at the hard cock laying on Hunter’s belly, twitching and oozing pre-cum. Coulson wrapped his right palm round the shaft and pulled it to him. Hunter hissed but that didn’t stop him.

“Oh fuck!”

Hunter’s eyes rolled all the way back when Coulson swallowed his shaft. He grinned around it as he watched Hunter’s face contort with an array of emotions. He eased off after a few seconds.

“Holy shit!” Hunter panted, looking down at Coulson and gripping his cock like it was going to fly away. “You really ought to give some warning.”

Coulson smirked. “I mean... if you can’t handle it....”

Hunter sat up and scooted closer. “Shut up, Director.”

Their second kiss was more aggressive. Their lips nibbled and tugged as they tasted each other. Hunter’s hips ground on the mattress and Coulson decided it was time to give him a little more.

“Turn on your belly, please.”

Hunter pulled back, a little bleary eyed. “Umm....”

Coulson smirked. “Don’t worry, I just want to eat you out for a little bit. I think all of you deserves some attention.”

“I need to bet on crazy shit more often,” Hunter said.

Coulson slapped his thighs. “I said turn, Hunter.”

He watched as Hunter scrambled on the mattress, kneeling, and leaning down on his arms, leaving his ass in the air. Coulson could see his cock hanging down freely and couldn’t resist teasing him. He rolled his balls in his hands, tugging and massaging the sack until Hunter’s tip was dripping, pre-cum flowing freely and soaking his dark sheets.

“What the fuck....ohhhh...” Hunter’s words were muffled because he bit his pillow. “Who would have thought?”

“Shhhhh.” Coulson slapped and massaged his ass before pulling his cheeks apart and diving in.

“Oh shit!”

Hunter almost shot off the bed and Coulson chuckled, gripping him by the hips and pulling him back, basically shoving his face between Hunter’s cheeks. He moaned and twisted. Coulson could tell he was jerking off with his right hand, so he shoved his tongue in his anus even harder, the ring of muscles finally loosening.

“I’m gonna...”

Coulson slapped his right thigh, pulling back. “I didn’t say you could come, Hunter. Don’t even think about it!”

Hunter whined like he was in pain and Coulson frowned. He let him go and sat down. Hunter slumped forward, shivering, his hips jumping.

“Hey.” Coulson crawled over him, kissing up his back. “Too much?”

Hunter shook his head, panting. “Too good. There was no way I wasn’t going to blow.”

Coulson smirked as he felt Hunter’s hips grinding into the mattress. He caressed his side slowly, running his nails up and down across the sensitive skin. “Do you need a second?”

“Please.”

“Next time you need a break use a word. Any word we decide on and no matter what I’m doing I’ll back off.” Coulson kissed his ear. “I could be balls deep in your ass and I’ll pull out.”

“Oh fuck! If you keep talking like that, I’m going to lose it.” Hunter whined and then growled.

“Give me a word, Hunter, please.”

“Uhhh....Ravenclaw?”

Coulson laughed but moved away when Hunter turned his head to the right to kiss him.

“I just had my tongue in your ass, give me a second.”

Hunter laughed. Coulson got up groaning and grabbed his glass, pouring more whiskey in it. He walked over to the sink in the corner of the bunk and spit out the alcohol after squishing it around in his mouth. When he looked toward the bed Hunter was lying on his back, stroking his cock absentmindedly as he watched Coulson.

“Do you need something?”

“I need you to take off your pants, boss.”

Coulson smirked. He rinsed his mouth with water and walked back to the bed. He stood at the edge, gripping himself over the fabric of the sweats.

Hunter placed his hand on top. “Need some help?”

Coulson groaned when Hunter pulled down his sweats. He had not even bothered with underwear and laughed when he heard Hunter gasp. His cock stuck out, proud and hard, jumping for attention.

“Holy shit! How the fuck do you hide this?”

Coulson’s eyes flew open. He looked down at Hunter with his eyebrow raised.

“It’s...you are aware you have a huge cock, right?”

Coulson just smirked, caressing Hunter’s cheek with the tips of his fingers.

“This would rip my asshole in two without prep.”

Hunter moved closer. He kissed the tip of Coulson’s cock before lifting the shaft, holding it up while licking the underneath. He sucked the ball sack into his mouth and Coulson hissed.

“I think you have a thing for big cocks, Hunter.”

“Can you blame me? This is a beast!”

Coulson laughed. He moaned in the next second when Hunter shifted on his knees, getting more comfortable. He swallowed most of Coulson’s shaft, stroking what he couldn’t fit in his mouth with both hands.

“Shit...I had almost forgotten how good this is!”

Hunger chuckled. “Agent May the only one who’s been sucking your dick lately?”

Coulson pulled the short hair on the back of Hunter’s neck. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

Hunter hummed, trying to suck more of the hard shaft. He gagged and had to pull up. Coulson growled when his cock bounced out of his mouth.

“Next time I’m going to bring a plug and stretch your little asshole but tonight I need you to fuck me.”

Hunter grinned like Coulson had promised him a raise and a lifetime supply of beer.

“On your back or on your knees, Director?”

Coulson bent down and kissed him. “Knees for tonight.”

Hunter groaned, stroking his dick with his left hand and Coulson’s with his right. They moaned as their free hands wandered up and down the other’s body.

Coulson decided he was tired of waiting and collapsed on the mattress. Hunter laughed and reached for the pack of condoms. Coulson crawled to him and rested his head on Hunter’s lap while he stroked his shaft, trying to get it as hard as possible before rolling on the condom. Coulson sucked his balls while Hunter suited up.

“If I blow within the minute, I get a do-over,” Hunter said, smacking Coulson’s ass.

Coulson shifted on his knees and gripped the sheets. He hissed when he felt the cold lube. Hunter spread a generous amount before he started teasing his anus.

“Jerk your cock, it will make you relax.”

Coulson moaned and followed directions. He loved not having to give all the orders all the time. Hunter was good in charge when he was focused on a task. He moaned when he felt his index finger breach him.

“Fuck...” Coulson hung his head down and tried to control his breathing.

“When was the last time someone fucked your ass, Director?” Hunter wiggled his finger and kissed Coulson’s back, which was still covered by his shirt. He slipped his middle finger in when he felt the muscle give.

“Let me have some secrets...oh shit...so I seem cooler than I actually am.”

Hunter smacked the head of his cock on Coulson’s anus. “It’s throbbing to go in.” He pulled his fingers out, added more lube, and went back in. “But...ahhhh...there it is. So much looser.”

Coulson groaned but he felt it too; the ring of muscles getting adjusted to the thickness. Hunter wasn’t too thick, but Coulson knew he would feel him when he hit his prostate.

“Take a breath and relax. I’ll go slowly.”

Coulson nodded, throwing his head back and groaning when he felt the pressure. He gritted his teeth and reminded himself he could take it. Hunter breached him with a light pop. The squirt of the lube bottle covered their nervous laugh. They both moaned when Hunter dared to move just lightly.

“Fuck...it’s so...” Coulson growled, leaning down, and biting the pillow.

The change in angle caused Hunter to hiss. He couldn’t resist but pull out just a little and thrust back in. Coulson whined but didn’t tense up, so Hunter did it again.

“I’m so fucking glad I made that move in the shower.”

Coulson groaned. Sweat was running down his face. His chest was flushed. Hunter thrusted harder and Coulson stood up, throwing his right arm back and finding his neck, gripping it tight as he knelt on the mattress.

Hunger gripped his hips and kissed his neck. “Yeah? Is it good?” His right hand wrapped around Coulson’s shaft.

It was so hard it hurt him just to be touched. The head was dripping on the sheets. Coulson humped Hunter’s hand while he fucked his ass.

Coulson came suddenly, couldn’t have stopped it even if he wanted to. He shook and groaned, watching as his cum shot off, some of it reaching the dresser. Hunter laughed.

“Ohhhh someone had been holding that back for a while.”

Coulson whined. His ass contracted around Hunter’s cock. He shoved forward so hard Coulson felt him poke his prostrate. A second wave of cum shot out of his still hard dick.

“Oh fuck!” Hunter pulled out and collapsed on his back.

Coulson’s dick felt like it was on fire. He gripped himself and slumped forward, humping the space between the pillow and mattress to chase the fading sensation of his orgasm.

“Shit!”

Hunter panted. “You just… You came twice within seconds.”

Coulson turned on his back groaning and looked at the other end of the bed where Hunter was sitting up, leaning against the wall. He was grinning.

“You want a cookie or something?”

Hunter smirked. “Yes, I would like a reward for my hard work.”

Coulson snorted, wiggling on the mattress. He was already getting sleepy. “You can have whatever time off you want as long as there is no emergency.”

“Nuh uh.” Hunter crawled over. “I don’t need to fuck my boss for special treatment.”

Coulson was almost hypnotized by the hard cock bobbing freely in front of him. He gripped Hunter’s hips and flipped them. The head of his cock bumped Hunter’s asshole, but he had something else in mind.

“Start jerking off.”

Hunter grunted. He squirted some lube on his palm and wrapped his fist around his hard shaft. Coulson lubed up his index and middle fingers. He pushed Hunter’s legs open, making him fold his knees.

“Ohhhh…..”

Coulson grinned when Hunter tensed before relaxing. His fingers breached him easily, his anus pulling him in. Hunter was making little noises of pleasure, gasping as he withered on the bed. Coulson looked at his face, smirking.

“You want more?”

Hunter nodded, twisting his head to the right.

Coulson pushed his fingers past his knuckles and started thrusting with more purpose. But it didn’t feel good enough. His eyes kept going to Hunter’s long neck as he extended it, his head shoved tight against the pillows. The muscles kept contracting as his breathing hitched.

“Ohhhh fuck yeah!”  
Hunter moaned when Coulson gripped his neck with his left hand. He didn’t squeeze, but he kept his fist tight. His other hand continued to thrust in and out of Hunter’s ass. Coulson moaned as he watched his agent jerk off, his thighs tensing.

“Come on, come for me. I know you can do it. That’s it….oh fuck…there you go.”  
Hunter screamed when cum shot out of his tip. His legs twitched and Coulson laughed. He had to pull his right hand out and let go of his neck to hold down Hunter’s legs, otherwise he would have gotten kicked in the ribs.

“Oh shit shit…fuck…oh yeah…”

Hunter kept babbling as waves of pleasure crashed through him. Coulson watched, caressing his thighs to get him to relax. His cock continued to twitch on his belly. Coulson bent his head and licked the tip, lapping up the cum. He felt Hunter squeeze his neck and moved up his torso until their lips met.

Hunter hummed as he tasted his own cum, licking Coulson’s lips.

“Best cookie ever,” Hunter mumbled.

Coulson laughed, kissed his neck, and rolled on his back, sighing. Hunter’s breathing went back to normal after a few minutes. He moved on his right side. Coulson hummed when the bed rocked. He was ready to fall asleep, but he could tell Hunter wanted something else.

“So?”

Coulson opened his right eye and turned to look at Hunter. “What?”

“Take off your shirt. I want to see you.”

Coulson sighed.

“No pressure, but if you let someone fuck you in the ass, I think they are trustworthy enough to see your scars.”

“You’re right.”

Hunter wagged his eyebrows. “Still waiting.”

Coulson growled and pulled him down for a kiss. He groaned when Hunter rubbed his softening cock against his. He was starting to get hard again. Coulson pulled back, panting.

“Why don’t we go take a shower in my room and talk about being completely naked?”

Hunter grinned. “You go first, Director. If someone sees us together Daisy will be running all types of bets.”

Coulson laughed. He didn’t want to get up, but the promise of more time with Hunter and a hot shower before they did anything else was too much to resist. Hunter slapped his ass as he got out of bed and Coulson laughed before searching for his sweatpants on the floor.


End file.
